Money Matters…

My mom has Alzheimer’s.  It is a tough disease.  Mom does not recognize any of us b/c she remembers her kids being “little ones”.  It must be frightening to her to wake up each day and don’t recognize who the Hell is talking to you but they seem to know you.  But mom is a “lady” it would be rude to say “who are you?” so she carries on like she is entertaining a neighbor.

Mom has been on meds to slow down the progress of the disease but it doesn’t stop the disease.  My son has helped fill in when the others need to run errands, work or whatever.  However, over the past four months, mom has increasingly become aggressive towards family members.

Mom only weighs 100 pounds soaking wet.

Anxiety meds and sleeping meds were tried but I guess the disease is stronger than the meds!  So, we have been looking at facilities to place mom.  Trust me, no one wants that but mom needs to be in a place that can take good care of her.  It’s been a tough decision.

We found the perfect place…but they charge like a “a-la-cart” fee for different services.  WTH???  For example, if mom will not come out of her room for a meal and instead they bring the meal to her room, there’s a fee for that.  It’s a flat room rate but it’s the incidentals that is gonna add up.

Yesterday, I sent my brother a LARGE amount of money to help cover the costs for the incidental “a-la-cart” services for at least 5 to 10 years…depending upon mom’s health.

I could not have afforded to do this just a couple of years ago.  But with couponing, it allows me to put more money into savings.  We want mom to be in a good facility, therefore, I will be living a bit more leaner.  I’ll go home in the next few weeks for a long weekend. 

I thank God that I straightened out my finances a couple of years ago so the financial portion of this is not my biggest concern…


  • sburiel August 1, 2010, 06:28

    I work at an assisted living community on the weekends. They sometimes have plans that include having meals sent up including other "al la carte" services that can be included in those plans. If you haven't done so already, you may want to check into a different plan. Just a suggestion πŸ™‚

  • Ms Benjamins August 2, 2010, 02:21

    sburiel, thanks for the suggestion, we are looking into all kinds of options.

  • Simply Pris August 2, 2010, 20:44

    I have been following your blog for a few months now even though we live in different areas of the Country. I live in the Southeast (louisiana). Love reading your posts…was especially touched by your mention of your mom and her illness. My sister who is only 51 was diagnose with Dimentia a few years ago. Although she is still able to function in many ways, the disease seems to be advancing quickly. All of these changes certainly take a toll on the caregivers. She lived with me for 8months. It certainly is a relief that you can financially assit in the cost of caring for your mom…
    Thanks for sharing and posting all of your money saving tips……..

  • Ms Benjamins August 2, 2010, 22:28

    Pris, thank you for your kind words. In many ways, blogging has kept from going crazy over these past few months. Mom is a very special lady and taught us all so much and she deserves the best we can give her. Mom made many sacrifices for us "kids" all along encouraging us to be our best self. Mom was a quiet woman by nature but when she needed to push us, she pushed us hard but with love.

    So sorry to hear of your sister's Dimentia at such a young age of 51 y/o. God is watching over your sister and my mom.